Okay, first off, big thanks to my commenters,
Morgan and Devyn!
High school’s almost over. I can’t wait. But at the same time, I’m dreading it. I know it’s inevitable that once my friends and I aren’t around each other all the time, we’ll lose touch. I’m not good at that kind of stuff.
And the thought of college is intimidating me, too. I’m nervous and excited all at once. It’s a big thing. But I’m afraid I won’t be any good at it. I’m afraid that I’m just a horrible actress and I’ll never be able to make it in real life… I mean, I wasn’t good enough to get into NYU or UCLA or USC. So who says I’m good enough to really make it?
Wow. That’s not at all what I meant to get on when I first opened this up to start typing. But I guess it’s because I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.. It’s just scary to me. High school is one thing. I’m one of about 20 actors who care in the senior class. After high school, there’s a lot more competition. And how many parts there are will be based on the play, not the play will depend on how many actors there are.
Okay. I need to stop depressing myself.
Only this next thing is slightly depressing to me as well.
So there’s a new guy I like, yet again. Another inconvenient crush for me to have. The subject this time? My friend’s boyfriend. He’s just so sweet, and he makes me feel good about myself. Guys don’t do that, ever. And he just keeps saying all this stuff, conflicting me. And I don’t know what to think. And of course, me, being the huge flirt that I am, can’t keep myself from flirting with him. But he flirts back, too. And then he’ll start talking about my friend right after. Mixed signals, much?
Boys are irritating. Damnit. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so shallow. Because I know part of the reason I like him is because I think he’s really cute. That’s just how I am. But at least I know I’m shallow.. right?
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