Last night I had a really disturbing dream. I don’t even really remember what it was about. Something about reality. My reality. My life. And how it’s nothing like it’s supposed to be. It just isn’t right. And I’m not sure why. Well, that’s a little bit of a lie. I do know why. It’s because of him. It’s because I know I’ll never see him again. I know that I’ll never talk to him again the way I used to. But these dreams are… they keep coming back and reminding me of him. I just want them to stop. But then, seeing his face, it’s comforting. I don’t really know why. But… it is.
And now I can’t force myself to sleep. I really wish I could; I’m so tired. But I just can’t sleep. These dreams that keep plaguing me, I know they aren’t going to stop. And I don’t think I’d stop them if I could. There’s just something about them… it’s like I’m remembering things that haven’t actually happened. They seem so real. And I don’t really understand. Maybe in time I will.
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